Have Your Home Reflect Your Style - Your Dreams For Your Life

Welcome to the Laurel Plum Online Clutter Scavenger Hunt.

Each of us have our own unique style. It shows in the clothes we wear, around our homes, and in our interests. As we grow as individuals, our style also grows or changes.

It is time to let go of anything that is out of style. Not based on the runways or the home trends, or any other person’s opinion. Focus exclusively on YOUR style. There are only two questions that you need to ask yourself as you are deciding what to let go:

Does it belong to me? If so,
Does it fit the person I am right now and fit the person I am working on becoming?

If not, consider letting it go.

Set Up Your Style For What You WANT, Not Where You Have Been

I have yet another story to relay to you. (I can not find where I heard or read it, so if you know of the original source, let me know so I can give proper credit.)

There was a fairly young woman. She was happily settled into a career, financially stable, and … almost comfortable with who she was. You see, her internal clock was ticking very loudly. She was tired of just dating and was beginning to wonder if she would ever meat Mr. Right-For-Her. What’s more, all of her friends had already settled down with husbands and children. She was beginning to feel as if they were out growing her – leaving her behind. Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock… that clock kept getting louder and louder the more she dwelt on it.

As she started to get more and more depressed because she could not find the guy she would like to call ‘her family’, she went to a counselor. After several sessions, the counselor made a suggestion. She had the young woman go home and make room for a husband in her apartment. She was to make room in her closet, medicine cabinet, and drawers.

When that was done, the counselor asked her to carry herself, not in the hope of picking up A guy, but with THE guy in mind. She was to start looking up “For Two” meals in the cookbooks. She was to dress in a way that she felt he would appreciate if they were a settled couple. (The story goes that by adding a little more softness to her corporate wear made her seem more approachable, more like a capable partner than a boss. And I will add that a “looking for a good time guy” would want her to be overtly sexy while a true companion would want her to save the good stuff just for him.) Anyway, you get the idea.

Of course as stories go, once she made the changes, she found her Mr. Right. The point is that in her heart, the young woman wanted one thing, but everything about her surroundings and her carriage had previously belied her dream. She was sending mixed messages to all of the potential prospects AND, more importantly, to herself. Until she was willing to let go she was not really ready to be a partner to someone else.

So, keep in mind that until you let go of the things you have outgrown, you will not have room to make your future. Whatever your dream may be.

One More Style Story

For as long as I can remember, my childhood homes were full of the color blue. Fabrics, carpets, accessories, even a lot of my Mother’s clothing. For each birthday, Christmas, and special occasion we would all often find something blue to give to my Mom. You know what? A couple of years ago, she let it slip she really did not care for blue. It took her well over 30 some years to tell us that while her favorite color had once been blue, she had gotten tired of it when I was about 5 years old.

Since everything was blue, the idea of changing the color seemed daunting (and expensive) to her. If she had expressed her style preferences instead of settling for the style that was in place, all of us gifters could have done it for her a with a couple of color changes over the years without her having to lift a finger.

Remember, you do not have to change everything all at once.

Like my Mom’s blue, my den furniture is out of MY style. If I just toss it, we will not have anything to sit on. But I still do not have to settle for it. I’ve started a savings account and am working toward getting something new (or gently used) that does match my style. In the mean time, I can find creative solutions that do not tie me to that furniture. Paint is less expensive than half a room of furniture. I can paint the walls in a color that fits and make slip covers that I do like. I can change out the artwork and all kinds of other little accessories in the room even if it is a single thing at a time.

Start by focusing on finding all of the things you want to let go. You will find replacements to match your style soon enough. Let that come later. If it is not essential – like our couch, do not wait. Send it out into the world – out of your life – right now. Enjoy the white space. Every time you set something free, you will find possibility.

Places To Look For Those Out Of Style Items

In your closet – any clothing that no longer fits, that you no longer like, that you no longer feel comfortable physically or emotionally wearing.
Color – in clothing, on walls, fabric, furniture, ….
Furniture or decor style – cottage, contemporary, country, ultra modern…
Any individual pieces – appliances, art work, accessories, jewelry…
Collections
Hobbies
People – organizations, groups, even some individuals…
Commitments – traditions you no longer enjoy (give yourself permission to take a break and try something new), volunteering you no longer are emotionally attached to (find one where you can be), again the things under ‘people’, your career choice…

You will know the things that are out of style for you when you see them if you start looking for them. Do not feel you have to have a name or description for your style. Too many people get caught up in that sort of labeling. All you need to know is if you like it or not.

You Can Change Your Mind Later

Maybe some day, your style of yesterday will return again. That’s fine. Do not regret your decision to let go today. Pick it back up guilt free without locking yourself in again later.

Fashion and decor always do seem to come back eventually. Just do not hang on to it “Just in case some day…” you may use it again, like it again, or want to do it again. It may come back, you may like it again. Usually the period in between is a decade or more for most people just as it is in the mass trends. They seldom come back or interest us in the exact same way as before. A lot can happen in 10+ years. Too much to burden yourself in the mean time “Just In Case” anticipating the return.

Tell yourself “If I hang on to something Just in case”:

“I do not have room for other things/activities I would enjoy. I am settling. I stifle my potential for growth and exploration.”
“My Home becomes a House. My interests become obligations.”
“I may be holding on to something that could bring joy to someone else.”

The same goes for the things that are not really “Stuff”. Several years ago (before kids), I always made my Christmas cards. One year I decided to try a Family Holiday newsletter instead. I can go back to the hand made cards or change it again whenever I choose. When I quit enjoying making them, I was not being fair to myself. When you begrudge the gift, you start having negative thoughts toward the recipient(s) whether you realize it or not. The same goes for those volunteer and charity opportunities.

Enrich Others Lives

It seems like every 4 or 5 years, my style evolves. The things I loved yesterday are a little less special to me today. The items are usually still functional or pretty on their own. They just no longer make ME happy, work for ME, or inspire ME. I know that someone else may appreciate them more than I now do.

There are several collections I have given up after selecting a very few cherished pieces. There were plenty of other people out there who could get more enjoyment out of them. The pieces I did keep seemed to become more special too.

So Start Letting Go Of The Things In Your Life That Are Out Of Style

Your Style. You do not need to change EVERYTHING all at once. You just have to make a start. Somewhere. Anywhere. Open your self and your spaces for new opportunities.