Wrap It Up, Take A Picture, Then Move On

Here it is.  The week my Hubby tries to ignore me. I pour over notebooks as if I am trying to write down every memory in my tired little brain before it poofs along with the last vapors of the New Year bubbly. I don’t care what he tells you, I do NOT mumble to myself all week. Let me tell you one of the things I DO do. (Yes. I have some New Year lists as cheat sheets to make sure I am consistent.)

Wrap It Up. I take some time to put last year behind me and gain some perspective.

Holiday Review. Usually the first thing I write down is a review of the holiday. Even before I start taking down any of the decorations, I do a holiday follow up to keep making next year go more smoothly, with less effort, more memories and hopefully more meaning. These pages have become a big packet over the years that are an immense reference.  I am guessing that the place in my head where my memory resides looks like Swiss cheese. From year to year I can not remember what worked what didn’t or even which ‘new’ idea I already had a few years ago. I use these pages to fine tune my seasonal plan. To tweak those ideas for success the second (or third…) time around. Small changes here and there make huge positive differences over the years.

Reflection. Then I look back at the last year as a whole.  I count the blessings we have received.  I pat myself on the back for progress I have made on my goals.  And look at the areas of my life where I would like to make changes or improvements.

I ask myself one simple question with a ton of short and essay answers. What did I learn?

These couple of exercises give me the perspective needed for the next one.

Take A Picture. I take a mental snapshot of the present.

I reassess my personal life priorities.

A few more questions. How is my heart? How is my spirit? Am I more or less whole? What do I need? Family is very high on my life priority list so next I ask the same questions for each family member. Is there anything I can do to figure out what each of them may need then assist them in getting it?

Then Move On. I look forward to the future. (OR Effective Goal Setting.)

I do not make resolutions. I do not do well with ideas of having to give things up even when it may be good for me. Let me tell you how I set effective goals instead.

Like a greedy kid, I do much better with a list of several “I wants”.  I write out as many as possible taking several days to keep adding to them. The things that are weighing on me or bothering me always show up first. After that, tangent after tangent hits the page. Some always surprise me. From this alone, I find out a lot about myself.

Once done, I put the list out of sight for a few more days. Usually that is all of the time it takes for the New Year ambition rush to settle. I read it marking out all of the things that already no longer interest me. Maybe next time. The rest are sorted out.

Any wants that are materialistic I put aside. Some I add to a wish list. A few I will add to my shopping list. Some I will change to “I want TO SAVE for…”. The rest I just let go.

You see, I focus most on the ones that say “I want TO…”. Those are action items. In some way I could take action on all of them. It is just a matter of deciding the ones that are most worthy of investing in right now. I transfer all of them to the computer into a spread sheet. I spread them across four columns based on the time that would be needed to act on them because time is always one of our biggest constraints. It is a very valuable resource.

Setting Achievable Goals

Let me back up a minute. Before going on to telling how I pick my goals from the rest of the list, I guess some of you might need some guidance on goals in general. We all know that our goals are things that we strive to achieve. The trick to actually achieving them is to set realistic AND attainable goals.

It is not enough to just say I want to. I want to learn to play a guitar. I want to lose {mumble mumble} pounds. I want to be completely debt free. I want  to learn to fly.

Possible Goals. Some of the want to’s are far from realistic. No matter how hard I flap my arms, I am never going to fly. But I do not have to remove it completely from my dream list yet. Would alternatives be satisfying to me? I replace “Learn to Fly” with “Research Alternatives to Flying”. However, “I want to time travel” is one that should be marked out completely. Unless… What do I really mean? Am I looking to find more time in my day? Is there something from the past I want to rectify or regret that I may be able to do something about now? Is there something specific in my future that I would like to make happen? Maybe instead of an innuendo to something else, I really would love to become more knowledgeable in the field to try to make advances that would make it possible some day or be able to converse with the people that are?

See? Being specific is important.

When they go into the spreadsheet, all of my wants have been changed into possible AND specific statements. If they can’t be, they are let go.

Now to make sure they are attainable.

Recognizing Stepping Stones. Back to time constraints. When looking over the columns, a lot of things are one step tasks that I just need to remember to do. These are most of the things that are in the shorter 2 column’s of my spreadsheet. All of those items get transferred to my master to do list.

If you read the article I just linked to, I talk about the difference in a task vs. a project. A task is something that is simple, usually only taking one step to do. That step may be repeated over and over over in blocks of time, but it is a single task. Projects are things that need many steps. The small ‘want to’s’ are often tasks. They are more about just digging in one day and knocking one out as much as possible. These are the things I go to whenever I don’t already have plans for my Project Days or for when I happen to find small chunks of time on my hands. Simply because they were added to my to do list, when the end of the year comes most of these will either be done or will have been rejected based on what the year brings.

Then there are all of the the things that will take longer to do. Take “get debt free”. Or how about I use one of our DIY projects as an example like “Redecorate the Family Room”. These are bigger projects. If I leave these things on my list open ended, they may or may not get done.

Many can be broken down into smaller steps. For the redecorating project, most of those steps do not need to be done in any specific order. I break down the steps like “paint the family room walls” and “change the fabric on the family room chairs”… Then again just add those to the master to do list as tasks as I take them off the spreadsheet.

The rest of the list is where most of my true goals for the year come from. They are all more long term achievements with lots of stair steps to reach before achieving the whole.

Before they can be done,  we need to set the stepping stones out into a specific order before acting on them. They are not one time tasks. They have to be done step 1, then step 2, then step 3…

With becoming debt free and losing weight, they may seem like single steps repeated, but in reality they DO have many steps. You have to lose that first pound and keep it off before you can lose the second. You have to pay off that first dollar of debt or first small debt before you can pay the second. Often you need to do some research, get educated, make several small lifestyle changes, or other work first.

Allocating Other Available Resources. Don’t go spending your time figuring out the steps for any of them yet. Just recognize there is more to them for now. There is something else you need to determine first. What other available resources in addition to time will be required to climb those steps? Money? Support, understanding or hands on assistance from others? Days of warm weather?

Your other available resources may be just as limited as your available time. Being debt free and wanting to save for things both require money. They usually can not ALL be done at the same time. The top one or two need to be selected for each resource and the rest need to be let go. If there is something in these categories that feels like a real sacrifice when letting it go, you need to increase the needed resource. THAT is what you add back to your now shortened “Want To” list instead of the original want. You “want to increase (insert resource here).”

More Conflicts. Look at the revised list again. How many conflict with another? For example, finding a second job/job which pays more might conflict with spending more time with your family. You need to pick the most important to you and eliminate the conflicting item, adjust your expectations or come up with a compromise. Coming up with a workable compromise would get added to the list if that is your choice.

Writing Out The New Goal List. There are four more things I do before formally writing out my new goals.

1. Look at any uncompleted goals from last year and decide which ones I still want to keep. Are there any of those I want to adjust in some way?
2. Decide how many of these goals I can REALLY simultaneously or serially work on over the year? Make the hard choices and let the others go.
3. Figure out the first step for the goals where applicable.
4. Determine quantities where applicable for each of the goals. For example, I will save {X dollars} for {item/cause}  each paycheck. – I will put {X dollars} toward {a specific} debt each paycheck. – I will exercise {X time/frequency} each {time}….. You get the idea.

DO Formally Write Out Your Goals. Just the act of physically writing them out will make them more likely to happen.

Personally, I find a pretty piece of scrapbook paper and print my goals in a pretty font.  The goal sheet becomes the first page of my most frequently used planner. I also shrink the list down to the size of a credit card and print several more. I put one in my wallet and a couple in my desk drawers and one on the inside of the door of my medicine cabinet. Several places where they can be seen. Often. Places where they may keep me from diverting from the goal. The one in my wallet is especially helpful in making me think before I make unnecessary purchases.

The printed pages turn in to constant reminders, cheerleaders to keep me focused toward my goals. Whenever I catch myself headed in a different direction, they remind me I can start again. Anytime.

Next year I will claim all of the progress I made, not condemn myself for falling short. Remember, it is not about that unattainable perfection. It is about trying to do or be better tomorrow than yesterday.

Also remember that your goals are written on paper not blood on stone. You can change them or adjust them any time you need to.

This is the method that works for me. Are you going to try it? What are some of your goals? Tell us what you do instead?