New Year Fresh Start – Moving On From Goals

Over the past week I have written and avoided writing many more drafts to the goal series.  They are turning out to be a drudgery task. The very thing I resolved long ago to shortcut from my life whenever possible.  So as I always want you to consider doing whenever you get stuck, I am stopping and re-evaluating the process.

Each of the posts so far are things I do each year using the methods I listed.  But the doing is so much less complicated than the telling.  And for each article I have been trying to cover all of the bases and go step by step.  There are just too many possible goals out there to even attempt to cover the contingencies.

So I am going to do a quick synopsis of each of the final steps I do and leave it. You can ask questions in the comments if you have specific issues that seem to keep getting in your way. (Always feel free to send me an e-mail!) Then I am going to move on to topics I will enjoy writing about much more.

Connect to a Big Payoff

If you have been following along up to this point, take the solid goal from Part 3, which should look like “I will {verb} {number} {measurement unit}” and add, “because when I do I will…” and write out any and all benefits you will receive.

You can look back and check the life priorities and categories you connected each goal to in Part 2 if you need inspiration, but if the goal is really important to you, you should not need a reference.  The benefit or payoff is usually the first thing we desire that inspires us to make a change – to declare that New Year Resolution. We see an area of our lives that we want to be different and visualize the possible difference.  This should be the easy part.

If it is not easy for you to name the payoff, maybe you are not ready to work on that particular goal. Most of the time there is no big deal in putting it off for a while.  But, if you have emotional conflict about putting off a goal, I want to talk a little more about that in a minute.

Set Mile Stones

Let’s face it, we live in an instant gratification world. As fast as time flies waiting for the payoff and to accomplish the goal is often hard to do.  One big reason resolutions get dumped is because we can not see the progress quickly enough.  Set mile stones now. If you need to, also plan rewards for yourself.

You can set them by time – weekly, monthly, quarterly or by the measurement established in part 3, or maybe your goal is one of those that has levels built in.  An example would be getting debt paid off.  Each time you get one creditor paid in full, you may not have not gotten rid of the total debt you were working on this year, but you can really feel the step.  Another would be learning to sew or knit.  There are a lot of little achievements from making that first washcloth to making a garment.

Hitting those mile stones are important for keeping you motivated over a longer period of time.  Just make sure to try to find points that are distant enough for you to have time to work toward it, and close enough so that you are not tempted to procrastinate.

Take Action

Planning is very helpful in discovering road blocks for the journey before you begin and in getting your mind set, but until you actual do something, you will never reach that accomplishment.

The reason GTD (Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity) is so popular is because of the advice to take any task or project and focus on the next step. Decide what the next step should be and then do it. Then focus on the next step. (There is so much more to GTD, but this is one simple point of the process.)

So for your goal, what is the next step? Do you need to do some research? Take a class or find a mentor? Make an action sheet of things to do daily to establish or shed a habit?Find out what it is and do it.

Map The Steps

You have figured out the next step.  Roughly make a list of other steps you need to take.  These may be connected to your mile stones or may not.  But it will help to keep you from being sidetracked.

You know when you go to the kitchen to wash the dishes and you decide to check the rest of the house to see if there are dishes that have been left elsewhere (in spite of rules of only eating in the kitchen – but that is a rant for another day)?  How many other things grab your attention and time between your first step and finally getting back to the sink to do the dishes? It is very easy to over explore a new venture and get similarly distracted from your main goal.

Having the steps mapped in advance will help you to determine if you are adjusting your plan or if you are deviating from it.  Looking at the get out of debt goal again.  You will probably look into ways of being more frugal and learning more about finances.  There is a lot of information out there about using coupons to stockpile supplies and investing that may be worthwhile later, but may cost you more in interest expense than the savings and returns for now. Getting into those things at the wrong time may keep you from your goal.

A To Do vs. A Goal

A To Do is a single task.  A Goal is more like a project.  It is a collection of to do items that need to be done or a single task that needs to be done over and over to develop or shed a habit.

In the past I was guilty of planning a task to death.  Partly for an unattainable desire for perfection, partly because I have ADD and sometimes need a step by step instruction the first time through, but sometimes it was simply that I did not want to do it.

If you have a goal and can not think of a step two and it is not a repetitive task that can fall under a habit category, you may be just procrastinating on a To Do.   Do it and get it off your back.  If you really need to gear yourself up to doing it, set a specific time or day on your calendar.  You will be able to see it and know that it is coming.  Just do not allow yourself too much time to build up dread and do not postpone the appointment.

Emotional Conflict.

Always be honest with yourself. You can always let go of the goal for now then pick it back up when you do know and want the payoff. You have to truly want it for yourself. Unless you want that payoff, you will not really put in the work big or small to get to the goal.

Maybe it is a goal that others think you should be working toward. Before you completely dismiss the goal, ask yourself a couple more questions. Do you feel guilty for not wanting to change?  Why do those others want you to change and how badly? What is their motivation for wanting you to reach the goals?  How important to you is the person (people) wanting you to change? How emotional does everyone get when the topic comes up? How often do these conversations occur?

If you are feeling more than a fleeting emotional conflict, you may not be ready to make changes, but you need to recognize that the situation is not totally frivolous either. I do not know what you current situation is and will not pretend that I do. I have seen people who need to make changes that were not ready and I have also seen people who did not really need to make changes but were urged to by someone with different perceptions.

Sometimes it is just personalities clashing a bit, but on occasion there is a much bigger issue involved. If you find yourself to be in a similar situation, consider how big of an impact the strain makes in your life. You may benefit from finding a professional to talk to that can help you get your relationships back on track.

So what are your goals?

So what are your goals? Have you found some good online resources to help?